A Good Story About Your Family And The Values it Held.
When you were very young Russell, we used to check on your dad's family's graves at Greenmount Cemetary. I told you about your family history. Your great great grandfather Frederick arrived at the port of Baltimore with his father in 1857. Frederick married Mary and they bought a very large house, 18 rooms, not counting bathrooms or kitchen, on a large parcel of land on Rolling Road in Catonsville, outside the city. The family occupied that home until 1978, where your dad was a frequent guest of your family.

They were all entrepreneurs and risk takers. And, most importantly, each of them looked out for and supported the welfare of their brothers, sisters and parents. It was a very close knit family that spawned Raymond, a pioneer in Orthopaedic Surgury at Hopkins, Wilton, who is credited with being one of the first to create a plumbing supply house in the USA and of course, your great grandfather Walter, who was president of a large clothing manufacturing company. The three sisters, Lessie, Mamie and Nettie did not marry and remained at the Catonsville house with Wilton until they all died. Mamie was the last to die in 1978. It was a highly successful family and known to be extraordinarily intelligent. They were all precocious and finished high school at very young ages, 14-15. Your great grandfather, during the depression was able to afford sending his 3 sons to the Wharton School at University of Pennsylvania, one of the Ivy League Schools. Many in the rest of the family attended Hopkins, Lenny who became head of Oncology at Hopkins and his sons, who became lawyers practicing to this day in large law firms in Washington D.C. Of course, your grandfather started and headed his own law firm outside of Baltimore.

What I remember most about your family was their strongly held family values. Your grandfather felt that the family should take time each and every day to gather for a while and speak not a word of problems or politics. At 5:30 p.m.. regardless of what we were doing, we were expected to meet on the solarium of the Guilford home, seated with before dinner drinks and food. The tradition lasted until the day your grandfather died. Your extended family were both highly supportive and loyal to their family members.

The values of gratitude, forgiveness, charity, philanthopy and always helping people less fortunate became ingrained in each of us. To this day, I still fondly remember your great grandmother inviting homeless people up to a porch at the house, would greet them with warm respect and serve them a meal. She expected me to keep our visitor company and ensure their comfort. In the years after your great grandmothers death, I carried on the spirit of her tradition. In the days prior to each Xmas holiday, your dad would identify a family struggling financially usually living on the edge of poverty. Your dad would assess the number of children in the family, and would Xmas shop buying gifts for everyone in the family. Late Xmas eve, the gifts would be left outside the door anonymously. This is a tradition I would like for you Russell and Jeffrey to learn.

Always think about the needs of people less fortunate than you and never turn your back on family in trouble. The virtues of empathy and compassion, and generousity are a big part of my life to this day. It accounts for why I am not angry at your mom or grandparents. Instead, I feel great sorrow for people so compromised and challenged by their own past and pathologies that they need to inflict harm on another human being just to balance their own useless and irrational hostilities.

Ideally, I would like to believe that we would all like to heal. But first there needs to be real empathy, compassion and sense of regret for sensless cruelty. And I am always ready to forgive.

Are You?

Remember Chompy Jeffrey?

Beautiful Memories and Happy Days